Kingdom Come!

My good friend LA Joiner sent this link by Robert Hartzell to his/our clan.  And Robert hits on all cylinders.  But brings up a lot of thoughts and questions…  Spiritual fathering is an interesting topic.  Something many groups are hot about.

So I want to have a limited go at it…

Spiritual fathering is not necessarily :

• A “relationship” that can be recruited.  Perhaps the very word “relationship” is totally overused and therefore begins to lose meaning.  We have a relationship with our bank, our doctor (who might remember our name, or not; [he did read the chart before he came in the room]), our employer, our paperboy, our next-door neighbor, our spouse and Dr. Phil.  Relationship describes a sense of “connection” that exists on some level for a period of time.  (My bank advertises itself as “The Relationship People.”  Right.) 

Like any genuine relationship, spiritual fathering is multifaceted - emotional, spiritual and physical.  There is an emotional bond between spiritual parents and those they father.  It is either the result of “spiritual birthing” (when someone leads someone to the Lord and disciples them to maturity) or “spiritual adoption” (when someone chooses - or are chosen by - a spiritual “parent”).  It seems to me that there is a great deal of confusion about the “fathering” connection.

My friend Henry Orombi, current Archbishop of the Church of Uganda, told me he hardly knew his father.  Henry grew up in a polygamist household as the youngest son of his father’s third wife.  He was a “son” but basically had no “relationship” to his father.  I think Henry said he was one of seventeen children.  He was one of a group who bore the bloodline and the image and even the DNA of his father, but he had no quality relationship with him. He said to me that he grew up never really knowing his father although they lived on the same compound.

Spiritually I believe this happens also.  I know groups and networks of churches who claim the same DNA, but who have people on their roster of “sons” just as names and ministries.  No real “relationship,” or heart-felt (opps, subjective!) sense of connectedness.

Can we confuse pastoring with fathering?  Are they the same thing?  What about “apostolic fathers” - in the 21^st century sense - what is their role?

• Any overbearing authoritative male relationship.  Just because someone critiques your life, your motives and your choices, and just because he “hits it” so often that it’s scary doesn’t mean he’s you spiritual father.  Just because he’s a powerful, controlling and opinionated church leader does not qualify him as your spiritual father.
• About big names and religious politics.  Often people like to give you their pedigree to impress and give credence to their words or ministry.  (I guess they feel it’s like they’re selling a horse and they want you to know that there is a derby winner in their bloodline. They might look like a nag, but there’s a Seattle Slew in there somewhere.)  And of course they have biblical precedence for doing this - the whole generational Abraham, Isaac and Jacob concept.  It’s not about big-guys, big-names, big-ministries needing to father little guys.  Little guys can and should be fathers, too.  And pedigrees are not really that impottant.  It is the relationship after all.
• The cure-all relationship.  There are other relationships in the church.  In our recent NoBrand Retreat, we spend time discussing the need for every man to have three levels of masculine relationships: father (elder) relationships, peer (brother) relationships and disciple (son) relationships.  All are necessary for a balanced and dynamic spiritual life.  When we only have one level, we get unbalanced and do not mature beyond a certain level.

Spiritual Fathering should be:

• Both spiritual and emotional.  It is a “felt” bond between father and child.  It is genuine because it is spiritual.
• On-going.  But with varying levels and dependencies.  
• Fulfilling and challenging.  Not debilitating and overbearing. Spiritual fathers are not about controlling another person or using them for their own agenda.  True spiritual fathers are not about co-opting their “children’s” dreams, visions or spiritual gifts for their own use.  They’re not about what can I get from this peron, but much more about what can I give to this person in order for them to experience their own fulfillment and place in God’s Big Story…
• A validating and confirming relationship that sets the course for your life.  I am blessed that I know who my spiritual father actually is.  So here’s my linage (filled with spiritual Seattle Slews and Seabiscuits):
  • My spiritual father - Jimmy Smith
    • He is retiring next month as associate pastor at New Covenant Church in Valdosta.  He was the youth guy at Northside Baptist in Valdosta when I was in college and God invaded my life…
    • Jimmy awakened vision and passion in me and set me on a course of seeking and knowing God…
    • Jimmy affirmed me as a “man of God” - though young, untried and ignorant…
  • My discipler - Joe Glenn Smith
    • He is different form my father.  He took me to another level in maturity.  I worked for him, pastored storefront/cell church with him and learned from him as I served him…
    • Joe Glenn taught me discipline me through discipleship.  Phyllis and I were with him and his family almost every day.  We did things together - some spiritual, many not.  We traveled together.  We had time together - laughing and crying.  He taught me how to dig into the Word and how to hear the Spirit..
  • My pastor/apostle - LA Joiner
    • We’ve walked together for years through think and thin…
    • LA has taught me grace, commitment and transparency…
    • LA affirmed me in ministry and released me into an expanding ministry…
• A vision-enhancing relationship.
  • I think a true fathering relationship is chaordic in nature… Chaordic is a word invented by Dee Hock, former CEO of Visa.  He says this:
    • Chaordic… Any self-organizing, self governing, adaptive, nonlinear, complex organism, organization, community or system, whether physical, biological or social, the behavior of which harmoniously blends characteristics of both chaos and order…

Leader presumes follower. Follower presumes choice.  One who is coerced to the purposes, objectives, or preferences of another is not a follower in any true sense of the word, but an object of manipulation.  Nor is the relationship materially altered if both parties voluntarily accept the dominance of one by the other. A true leader cannot be bound to lead.  A true follower cannot be bound to follow.  The moment they are bound they are no longer leader or follower. If the behavior of either is compelled, whether by force, economic necessity, or contractual arrangement, the relationship is altered to one of superior/subordinate, manager/employee, master/servant, or owner/slave. All such relationships are materially different from leader/follower.

This has gotten too long.  More later…

One of the things about blogging and the internet is you don’t know who’s out there and who’s watching and reading.  As a real live lurker myself, I’m aware that I look and read more than I ponder and post…  So anyway – or because of the anonymity of the big ole webnet, I thought I’d throw out a couple of things… I know you’re out there.  I just don’t know who you are… (Crazies need not respond.)

• The No-name Non-Retreat:  I’m looking at putting together a small un-conference and non-retreat in March or April for about 15-25 guys.  It would be multigenerational, highly missional and very relational.  The common denominator is me – hence, “relational.” (smile) I have some sort of relationship with at least the top tier of these guys.  (I’ve been doing this mentoring/discipling thing for a long time…)  Some of these guys will ask some of “their guys” – those with whom they have some sort of discipleship, mentoring relationship.  And that’s what makes it multigenerational – and if we could bring some guys from overseas, it could be multinational.  Because it’s “by invitation only” it seems kinda dumb to put it on the Net.  But here’s my thing – because it’s 20+ guys, we’ll need a place with meals and quiet and outdoors and room to interact and think and pray and read and listen – to one another and God.  The idea is to shape missional people in missional thinking – just through hanging out together – and a little input from me…
  • So here’s the question: Is there a group out there that would help underwrite such a gathering?  And if there is enough (or any) financial interest, I would even invite some guys from Russia, Egypt and Morocco .  Maybe even Kenya .  We’d need to pay their way.  And the idea is to be together and hear each other’s story and re-think how we can better impact our own world with the Gospel.
• Globe International Missional Training Center :  We begin the second Institute for Global Ministry (IGM) in Pensacola on 8 January.  It’s about training and thinking toward the “next missional step.”  This is a one-night-a-week school, but we have enquiries about moving to Pensacola to take the course. 
  And then in August 2008 we hope to begin our first Globe Candidate School – a 2 week 24/7 intensive cross-cultural training as the last piece of the Globe training mosaic.  And it makes sense to have a residential place for these things to happen.  (Globe Europe has a great place just outside Dusseldorf …)
  • So here’s my question:  Is there anybody out there who would like to contribute a place – either permanently or on a sharing basis – where continued training can be carried out?  There are certain criteria that we’d need but we’re flexible and open to change.  And it needs to be totally residential – meals, etc. in-house.
  • Or… Is there anybody out there who would contribute resources so that a residential purpose-build building can be built for Globe?

My conviction is that there are people, families, organizations, groups who are very much interested in seeing the missional Kingdom thinking forwarded and making lasting investments in people’s lives.  I just don’t know who and where they are… I’ve been away.  If you’re interested get in touch with me.  I’m just thinking out loud… Fields are ripe and we’re here to get the workers ready…

Brad, my new Seabeck front porch rocking-chair buddy, has tagged me to do the 30-20-10 history gig.  He wants me to blog my history in decade increments.  So that requires that I think back, so here goes…

30 years ago… that would make it 1977… I was a just a mere twinkle in my daddy’s eye - gone bad.  By about 26 years!  Yikes!  Phyllis - my college sweetheart - and I had been married about 5 years and have no children.  We are living in a small South Georgia hamlet called Hahira - 2000 people, cats and dogs.  I am the controller and personnel manager of a small private hospital and part of the leadership in a cell-church store-front plant.  We don’t know anything about church planting, cell churches or anything really.  We’re just newly filled with the Spirit, coming from a background that taught (by neglect) that gifts ceased with the Apostles and that speaking in tongues indicated that the person was “one brick short of a load” (or as one friend prefers, “one sandwich short of a picnic”).  We are surrounded by a host of great people (many of whom still remain our friends and supporters!) who have input into our lives and for whom we are accountable.  It is a great time.  We as a church reach out to the widows and young people of the town.  We ran a Friday night movie and popcorn for the kids (mostly black) who could not afford to go out and get in trouble in the bigger towns.   (Unfortunately, everything imploded about 5 years later through difficulties in the leadership.  There was - I might add - no sexual misconduct or financial impropriety.  We lost much of our missional vision and things began to be about command and control… so along with a small band of followers, we left.)

Fast forward… 20 years ago (1987)… (Please hum along) …it was twenty years ago today; Sgt Pepper taught the band to play… Now we are living in Valdosta, Georgia, the “big city” of our South Georgia world.  Zachary is seven years old, driving his mother crazy because he’s so smart and stubborn.  And Jane our blue-eyed girl is a newborn. We live between the fraternity houses at Valdosta State College so at night there is always a bass-beat somehow permeating the air.  On campus and in our home, I do numerous Bible studies and teaching events and travel to three other colleges in Georgia.  Our emphasis is on making disciple-making disciples, teaching them to believe and do.  Although our campus ministry is independent and contributor-supported, we are part of a dynamic charismatic church family.  The pastor and I are great friends.  We are seeing good things happen on all fronts.  The church has a great vision for missions, church-planting, worship and discipleship.  It is balanced and growing.  Our campus ministry is about community and the Word.  We have two Koinonia houses around campus and Kingship Groups on-campus.

Another decade… Yikes!  10 years ago (1997)… Phyllis, Zach, Jane and I are now living in Nairobi, Kenya.  We are “faith missionaries” (that means we raise our own support) with Globe International.  I travel all over East Africa (and beginning this year - I think - into Egypt) teaching in leadership seminars mainly among indigenous churches and denominations.  I also oversee Manna Bible School in the hills outside the city.  Manna is a three-year interrupted-service school, bringing pastors and church leaders in for classes three times per year.  My children attend Rosslyn Academy.  Phyllis is active on-campus with Mom’s In Touch.  I work with a tremendous Kenyan team at Manna.  The school has grown from twelve students to around 125; from three times a year to a 12 month school.  We are seeing great success.  Our biggest struggle is financial not so much spiritual or relational.

So, Brad et al, this is the Hatcher History lesson.  Somehow we’ve always been about  discipleship and preparing the next generation.

My New Revelation…  (I figure that I get about one great, new revelation every year.  Maybe one; maybe none!)  But 2007’s nugget revelation is this:  Biblically, God gathers to send, and sends to gather.  This is the pattern of the whole NT.  Gathered to send; sent to gather.

And in this framework of gathering and sending, I keep thinking of the historical context of “orders” and “sodalities.”  I remember reading sometime back How the Irish Saved Civilization and the role that monasteries and mendicant orders played in the preservation of culture and the message of Jesus.  (This book got lost in a flood in Cyprus, so I can’t go back and reread it!)  And I read Ralph Winter’s keystone piece on Two Structures of God’s Redemptive Mission and his references to the Roman military structure of the monastic orders.

And I keep reading, praying and meditating regarding the leap from apostolic Christianity and missional church-planting to bishop-rule and church-maintenance. 
Apostles are the “sent ones.”  Sent with the Gospel.  Apostles sent to gather Believers into - not so much a structure for protection, control and restraint - a koinonia of empowerment, healing and release.  Sent to gather; gathered to send.

But in my mind, I see this empowering apostolic missional model of empowerment evolving - for whatever reasons - into the Middle Ages Church that is basically a hierarchy of command and control.  Maybe control comes out of fear.  Probably does.  When things begin to shift and we lose the balance, we move toward control as a counter-balance.  I see it in my own life.  In my own ministry.

When concern about image, perception, precedent, continuity and success set in, we set up standards that must be followed.  We become concerned about who speaks for whom.  And how we can keep things tidy and “decent and in order.”  We decide what is right and what is wrong; good or bad; relevant or trivial; damaging or constructive.  Or someone does.  Isn’t that the role of leadership?

The biblical model of “church” is very relational. 

Of course, there’s Jesus and His followers: the multitudes, the seventy (or seventy-two depending on the translation), the twelve, then the inner circle of Peter, James and John, then obviously a special relationship with John.  Jesus spend time with every level of these concentric circles of relationships.  Different amounts of time and different levels of connectedness and intimacy.  And then, of course, He sends them out to do what they’d seen Him do.  And to be what He was in their own unique way.

Then you see Paul and his spiritual sons (Timothy, Titus, etc.) begetting other spiritual sons and daughters who beget others. This is the first century Church.  You see it.  Relational.  Unlike the opening chapters of Matthew and Luke, where you find a physical genealogy, these guys traced a spiritual genealogy of discipleship and relationship.  (Hence, “apostolic succession,” but that’s another story altogether…)

But then the growth of the church and the great inclusions of Constantine - whatever his motive! - change everything.  The enemies of relationship: success and status; position and power. And over a bunch of years, problems, indulgences, corruption and graft, you see the emergence of the monastic orders as preservers of Gospel and mission.

More later…

I’m reminded of the quote offered at Seabeck by Pete from Northumbria…

“The restoration of the church will surely come only from a new type of monasticism which has nothing in common with the old but a complete lack of compromise in a life lived in accordance with the Sermon on the Mount in the discipleship of Christ. I think it is time to gather people together to do this.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer